I Fucked things up

I fucked myself up in life in possible way n thing i do i really dont quite understand why is life so unfair towards me where i found someone i really love n she likes me back in return but we are going nowhere and its like i cherish every single moment i had with her just dun quite understand why am i so treated this way tell me whats life? i really wonder. Im always feeling empty inside no one to love or being loved in return.. this situation came but kinda confuse the fucked out of me that made me think so much i really wanna kill myself already like literally kill myself