Uncontrollable

I have no rights to control you i have no rights to do anything...im blogging about it because i somehow feel that you totally lost interest in talking to me and i really have no one to turn to your replies are somewhat i dont know how to reply you de its totally not like the old time when u would really entertain me now you totally just reply me for the sake of replying and everytime i try to strike a convo it just end the next moment tell me is this what u really wan to see to see me leave everything behind and move away? tell me man i cant take it but i gotta ....i hate myself i really hate myself i just wanna die this instants... its so wrong to love really so wrong Ally tell me are you even interested in talk or in me at all or anymore? or am i just there to accompany you when are feeling lonely i wouldnt had been like this if you had not lead me on so far...Now sorry already too late im wounded deeply n on the verge of giving up on everything so precious to me now..Guess even Gods laughing at me imma dimwit....If you are not ready please dont do this to any other guy please it really hurts so bad and you are kinda not giving shit about it... You say you do but i dont see it happening i see nth maybe previously you did but recently i doubt so... You tell me to speak of anything if i had to when i tell you we gotta start a quarrel so i would rather keep it to myself because thats the best way to avoid us quarreling over nothing...Even though i love you i cant help thinking if im better without you if we stay together it could get worst and maybe it could get better... if you are reading this i really hope you will show that you care if you really do if not just kick me out of you life im moving away from cheer from school from everywhere to not see you =( i love you dearly but guess i dont get the same treatment back.... they say good guys never last i dont really see myself as a really good guy maybe im too good towards you thats why you find me boring already so wrong to be nice to people they only tend to take you for granted! i feel so lost in life my spirits wandering around like a headless ghost heading to nowhere hopefully it just moves out of this world so i can end my misery soon enough... I hate myself but i love my family